Thursday, January 13, 2011

Let’s be honest..

I am usually a pretty happy go lucky on my blog, but I want to get real for a second (ok maybe a minute or two).  I know that what I am about to talk is something that everyone has suffered from sometime in their life. What am I talking about? It’s….

JEALOUSY

This isn’t easy for me to talk about because it has caused some issues in my relationships, but I think it’s important to discuss. I don’t know when or why it started, but whenever I would see a friend go on a trip, have something exciting happen to them, etc I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. When these twinges come up, I think to myself, “why am I feeling so jealous and angry?” I have a great life, husband, house, job, etc so it’s not like I am lacking in my life. I have a job that allows me to have a nice house and to buy those “wants” that I have in life.  I have a husband and a puppy who love me unconditionally, but yet I still can’t get rid of those twinges of jealousy.

I love blogging and the friendships that it has allowed me to form, but there are definitely times where I see other bloggers that have 4x as many followers as I do, have major events happening in their lives, or run a faster 5k then me.  It is so hard to take that step back from thinking “why can’t I be that pretty or fast?” and realize that I shouldn’t be jealous as I have many things to make me happy in my life.

In terms of how it has affected my relationships, it has caused me to cause many stupid fights with Mr.D especially when we were dating long distance. When he would tell me that he is hanging out with so and so, I would be jealous and angry because I couldn’t hang out with Mr.D. Through our relationship, Mr.D has been fantastic at realizing when I start stupid fights like that it’s not because I am actually angry, but that I am jealous and can’t control those feelings.

Sorry for such a downer of a post, but I promise I will be back to my happy go lucky self tomorrow Smile

Do you ever get jealous? How do you deal with those feelings? Do you think jealousy is a bad thing?


14 comments :

  1. The green-eyed monster frequently comes out to bite me in the ass.

    And I get mad because I have a great job, a loving husband, wonderful kids, a roof over our head and money in the bank. Why am I jealous??? Lately I've been trying to turn it into fuel, and I just work harder to achieve my goals. Plus, I realized someone may be jealous of me. So you never know!

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  2. Yes, I struggle with jealousy... I think it's something that most, if not every body, struggles with. For awhile there, I used to be jealous of my friends who were married and starting families. I thought - what am I doing wrong? Why is life so 'easy' for them. But after talking about it w/ some girlfriends, they told me that they were jealous of my ability to go to Paris. Or move to another city if I wanted to. Those are things they can't do anymore now that they are married. So it was good for me to be reminded that there are things about my life that make others jealous... and as backwards/weird as that sounds, it gives me perspective and keeps the green eyed monster at bay... I also remember that as easy as others lives may seem, there is a lot that others don't see...

    Don't feel bad about posting heavier stuff like this - I am sure your readers will all appreciate your honesty!!

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  3. You know, I'm not sure if its jealousy or that I'm just envious. Either way, it happens frequently. I don't necessarily think its a bad thing, but it may not be the best thing either. The thing is, it happens to us all. But you know, there can be some good in it, strives to make you work harder so you can beat that time or get that purse or go on that trip. It may bring out the worst in us at times, but it happens to us all.

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  4. It's tough, I suffer from this sometimes too. I feel like it never ends. I have a beautiful daughter and am pregnant with my 2nd but get jealous now when other people announce they are pregnant. How does that even make sense? I have exactly what they have but because I already announced it, I feel like I am old news. Just know that other's feel like this too, and I'm sure there are many people who are jealous of you and what you have! :)

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  5. I can be honest, I get jealous about things sometimes too. I guess the important thing to do is to remember that we sometimes take for granted the really amazing things that we DO have.

    For instance, I know you're grateful to have an amazing job, husband, and home. The point is, there are plenty of people that would also DIE to be in your shoes. I get jealous of those around me who are getting married/have gotten married and who already have a cozy home to come home to. I've been with my boyfriend for close to 4 years and we don't have these things yet and I WANT THEM SO DESPERATELY!

    Yet, I always try to come back down to reality and remember that I have an incredible job and those other things that are missing will come some day too.

    No one is ever going to have it all, even if it appears that someone does. Everyone has imperfections and insecurities that they want to change. :)

    So just remember, I bet there are plenty of people out there who are jealous too... of YOU!

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  6. YES YES and YES! It totally happens to me this past year has been one of the roughest on me, So many tears were shed. Women truely are their worst criticts ever, you may think that there is some one out there that criticizes you more but really we are the worst for our selves. How ever I know its hard to think of the positive things in life when these triggers happen but just remember we all go through it to some degree and you will get over it. It may come back and bite you again but just find something to do to keep your mind busy. I find that if I'm not doing anything and just sitting around those thoughts get to me so easily but if I'm busy doing other things then they don't seem to enter in as much. And talk to someone about it. Thats what Ive done, if you need anyone to talk to let me know I am for sure here for you if you need some one :) Its always good to just let it out!

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  7. I think everyone feels jealous sometimes and it hard to sit back and realize that perhaps other are jealous of what YOU have too. I think it's easy to feel jealous and I don't think there is anything wrong that... but I think it's good to talk about it, let it out, be happy etc. :)Almost Friday!

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  8. First, not criticizing AT ALL with this little tidbit but I JUST learned the difference between envy and jealousy by reading a blog comment on Carrots n' Cake the other day so thought I'd share!

    Apparently jealousy is when you feel feelings of ownership over something that is yours. So when Mr. D was hanging out with a certain person you were jealous, or if Harley gave someone else more attention than you you might get jealous since they are "yours". Whereas if you want something someone else has that's envy. Interesting hey?

    OK, moving on, teehee.

    I think we all get feelings of jealousy and envy. I am glad that Eric never had many girl friends because the few times he would hang around with other girls, especially when we were long distance, I got SO jealous and hated it. I also have to fight feelings of envy about other bloggers and how their lives are. I have been feeling especially envious of bloggers who work from home/work for themselves lately wishing I could do that too. Then I try to remind myself that if I want those kinds of things in my life then I have to MAKE it happen for myself just like they did and that helps. Also, like Lisa said, it helps to remember that there are probably a lot of people envious of YOUR life too! That helps put it in perspective.

    Great post, Leigh :)

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  9. Oh girl, I'm jealous that you can even run a 5k! That's something I would love love LOVE to do but I'm just not a runner. There's always something that makes us jealous, you're not alone!!

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  10. I agree wit what most people said, but especially Alison. Everyone suffers from jealousy. I have my moments too quite often. but it's also true that there are people out there who are jealous of you. Like me!
    There you are, all happy go lucky, loving your huge house, your new marriage, your too cute puppy, being all crafty yet productive while running marathons and hiking MOUNTAINS. ACTUAL MOUNTAINS.

    I think it's human nature to be jealous, and everyone needs to work on it.

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  11. I agree with Rachel. I get jealous of Stephan too, especially when girls flirt with him right in front of me. And I can understand how it was hard over the long distance, I did the long distance too. I don't think you should worry about it. For the most part, you realize you're being jealous and control that. Its completely normal.

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  12. I think it's really easy to get envious of what others have or accomplish when you are reading their blogs. But you have to remember--blogging isn't an unfiltered total look into their life. We get to be selective about what we share and pick and choose what we post. So, that gal with all of the fabulous "stuff"? May not have the best relationships. Or the one with the incredible marriage? May be struggling to make ends meet. Or may be unable to have a baby or may have a horrible relationship with her parents, etc. etc.

    Looking at it that way helps curb the envy for me. No one ever has it all, you know?

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  13. Sometimes I get jealous of other people when I see they have hundreds of followers, but then I realize there are certain girls that I love having a blogging relationsip with. I love that I can comment on your stuff, and you take the time to comment on mine. When you have hundreds there is no way to keep up with everyone. I think slowly you just gain more and more, as I feel thats how it happens... I love your blog so keep blogging :)

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  14. i know just what you mean. jealousy gets me a lot and in the blog world too.

    lately i am constantly feeling jealous about the pregnancies all over the blog world. i have baby fever in the worst way but so many things have to come first before we can start that and i get so jealous of all the pregnancies and adorable babies.

    you are not alone. i am a jealous creature too!

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