Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The etiquette of thank you cards


I’ve had a few conversations with different friends over the last little while in regards to thank you cards. From these conversations, I have noticed that there are two very different thoughts on the matter. One being a thank you card is always needed and the other is that it’s not needed as people do not want them and they know that you are thankful for the present/gesture/action. I personally think that a thank you card is always required and here is why.

If someone takes the time out of their day to shop for a present for you and spend money on that present, a card is a way of saying thank you for taking the time and spending the money. It’s about putting in a little effort when someone else put in effort for yourself and showing your gratitude. People do not have to buy you a present for your shower, but they choose to. It only takes a few minutes to write out a card to say thank you, and it could mean a lot to that person to know that you loved their present.

A friend made the argument that people do not want thank you cards as they just end up in the garbage. I personally still have many thank you cards that I have received over the years. Maybe that’s a little hoarder-ish of myself, but it was nice to know that they enjoyed the present whether hand made or store bought.

I have been to a couple wedding showers and weddings where I travelled for the event in combination with bringing a gift and never received a thank you card. I will admit it surprised me because time and effort on my part was put in for that person/friend and they couldn’t take a few minutes to say thank you. Yes, they did say a general thank you to everyone at the event, but it is not the same in my mind. Even if the card is sent many months after the event, it will not go unforgotten. A thank you card in the mail is better than a bill any day!

What are your thoughts on thank you cards? Do you think that they should be sent or do you think it really doesn’t matter? I am interested to see what others think of the topic!


  1. I think that thank you cards are necessary many times, but not other times. Of course whenever someone goes that extra step for you I think it is only kind to send them one to show your appreciation. I also think any formal event/occasion you should send one - showers, weddings etc. Sadly, I have been to many weddings/showers where this was not the case! I keep all of mine as well for at least a few years before the file is too full!

  2. I agree. Thank you cards are a must! Always. They will never go out of style.

  3. I agree, a must for sure. Especially for big occasions, maybe not a birhday present. ;)

  4. The thing about a shower is that it is sort of an event for the purpose of giving/getting gifts. NO you do not HAVE to bring a gift and no one would think poorly of you if you show up to show support and to have a good time, but in general, the purpose of the event is gifting. Therefore, a thank you card is a requirement in my mind.

    For a wedding I also think a thank you card is a must. I love wedding thank you cards. Yes, they eventually end up in the garbage...but only after I've read them a few times, and looked a the really pretty ones for even longer.

    For other things- a thank you card is up to the digression of the card writer. I always send my grandmother a thank you card. And sometimes I just want to say thank you in card form. If you don't like receiving it, no skin off my back if it end up in the garbage :)

  5. Blogger is at it again...

    I agree with everyone else. I think they are a must for things like showers and weddings but not necessary for birthdays and dinner invites.

    I haven't received thank you cards for a lot of showers and weddings that I have gone to. I understand that it is time consuming (been there, done that!) but I don't think it is a good excuse for not sending them.

    Plus everyone likes to receive mail that isn't a bill!!

  6. THANK YOU CARD 100%! I write them all the time, even for silly reasons like cheering me up on a bad day. I don't believe the people that say that they aren't necessary... EVERYONE wants to feel and know that they are appreciated and thought of. Don't you agree?

    Happy Wednesday, Leigh!

  7. I have actually NEVER sent a Thank You card... Though I'm sure that's about to change in the next year with wedding stuff ;)

    I agree it's proper protocol for wedding related things however I don't think I would send (or expect) a thank you card for a birthday gift or a "just because" gift.

  8. I think ANY sort of unexpected card is special but a thank you card is especially special!

    Have a good day, Leigh! :)

  9. I agree! Certain situations especially require a thank you card!

  10. I am totally with you girl! Always send one! Even if they trash it, they smiled when they read it and everyone knows the effort that goes into writing one! :)

  11. OH my gosh, I totally agree with you. I was raised in a home where we sent thank yous for bithday gifts and grad gifts and etc, etc. If someone is going to give you a gift, the least you can do is acknowledge that gift. I have gotten thank yous for most weddings/baby showers, but there are a couple i didn't and when you ship a gift, it makes you wonder - did they receive it???

  12. I agree, I think it's always so odd when I don't receive a card from a wedding I attended hundreds of miles away from home (or even in my town) and gave a gift. IT's kind of weird actually because you usually know one or both people really well.



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