Thursday, January 21, 2016

Returning to work

This post has been brewing in my head for a couple weeks now, but actually sitting down and writing my thoughts out make me sad so I've been avoiding it. But, with my return to work happening on Monday, I can't avoid it much longer. 


When I was pregnant with Amelia, I always thought it would be so easy to return to work. Little did I know how many feelings and emotions would come with it. I always knew that I would have to return to work (not sure it would be financially possible for me to stay home full time right now and I also like having the money to travel to Ontario to see my family), but actually coming to terms with leaving your child is hard. So, so hard.

As I started thinking about actually leaving Amelia with someone else, I found that I had a lot of guilt. Am I doing the right thing? Is she going thrive and be loved by the day home provider? Will she know that I still love her and wish I could be there with her? We have found a wonderful day home provider and Amelia has started her trial with her and it's gone better than I thought so far. That definitely helps ease my momma worries. 

I know that being around other children will be good for Amelia- socialization and learning to share, etc are all important. I also know that having adult conversations and using my brain again will be good for me. But that also doesn't make it easier to leave your child. 

I think the biggest thing (besides being away from Amelia so much) that I worry about it is how do you get everything done? I'm used to being able to do laundry, walk Harley, get groceries, etc all during the day and now my time to do that will be drastically cut down. I know that cleaning and laundry can always wait, but I'm such a perfectionist. Does anyone have any tips? I'd love some about getting dinner made without using all of my time up with Amelia after work. 

In the mean time, I'll be cuddling and spending as much time as I can before I go back to work on Monday. If you need me, you can find me probably shedding a few tears as well :)


21 comments :

  1. I hope Monday (and the following days) go well!! It came too soon :(

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  2. Returning to work is always so hard, I don't think it ever gets easier no matter how many kids you have. Having done it twice, some things I found that really helped is using the slow cooker for meals so that when we get home supper is essentially ready. My kids are always most needy during that supper hour and all they want is to spend time with us. We've also found that serving them the prior nights leftovers also helps because they are normally hungry to eat right at 5pm. Then we can eat later, if needed. I try and stay on top of laundry in the evenings, doing a load of two every second night. And groceries we tend to do together on the weekend with the kids, as they love to drive the car carts!

    Good luck to you!! The biggest thing is being comfortable with your daycare provider, which it sounds as if you are, so that's a bonus!! Time to start planning baby #2 so you can have another year off ;)

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  3. It is hard! But I promise it gets easier, and once you in a routine the days just fly by :) There are still days I miss Avery but she loves dayhome and I know she is well cared for. Having a great dayhome is key!

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  4. Big hugs! I'll be thinking of you guys!

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  5. I can't even imagine how difficult the transition was! I know it was really hard for my friend Jen when she went back to work last September but now she's in a good routine and her little girl LOVES daycare. You will definitely figure out a routine, just give yourself a few weeks or months to get it in place and in that time frame make sure to not beat yourself up or be too hard on yourself for not getting some things done. Thinking of you!

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  6. Returning to work would be so hard! I've seen most of my friends go through it and it's been so tough for them. I know you'll adjust and find a routine that works for you guys but I am sure it will take time. I will be thinking of you! I am glad that you have a daycare provider that you like and that Amelia has done well there during the trial period!

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  7. Welp you summed up my thoughts on this topic perfectly. Can't believe Monday is the big day. I hope it goes well for you! I'm also glad you found a good day home provider!! That makes a world of a difference!

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  8. I'm sending you lots of big hugs right now. It's SO TOUGH to go back to work. Honestly, I spend weeks crying leading up to it and after the fact. Utilize meal planning and your crock pot. The couple hours in the evening seem to just FLY BY and, it's true, you don't want to have to give up that time in the kitchen. Definitely ask the Mr for help. You guys need to be a team now more than ever!

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  9. i find our night routine so rushed, I literally have zero time with the kids. we get home from work at 5, I get supper ready while Maddy does her homework usually, and because I can't give her my undivided attention cuz I am getting supper, this is Daddy's job. After supper, its baths and the kids have like 30 mins of TV then it's bed. It doesn't really matter what I try to change, there just isn't enough time in the evenings because my kids go to bed so early (we are up at 5:30 am) but it works. Lately I have been meal prepping on sundays and I have time in the mornings while hubby is showering and getting ready and I will get everything ready for supper and that makes it easier too!
    Good luck on Monday!

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  10. It's so hard! I imagine it's even more difficult leaving them after being home an entire year! I don't have many tips, because even after two kids, I don't have it figured out haha! I will say get as much done the night before as you can. Fill up her cup and have it in the fridge, have snacks or food ready if you have to take it, lay her clothes out so you can get her dressed quickly in the mornings! As for meals, use your crock pot as much as possible and be ready to eat leftovers! :) Good luck mama!

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  11. Also I've been meaning to tell you we met a couple from Calgary on our trip to Mexico and spent the majority of our time with them! They really want us to come visit them and encouraged us to stay at the Banff Springs hotel and visit Lake Louise...they couldn't stop talking about how beautiful it is. Made me think of you! You're the only Canadian I "know" :)

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  12. I think all moms go through this. You were lucky to have a year off. When my friends come back to work after 6 weeks, I don't know how they do it. Sounds like Kate has some good suggestions. All those things you do during the day, you could also have Amelia "help out" with in the evening so you're spending time together. Good luck!

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  13. This is a big transition and I'm thinking of you mama.
    The first couple weeks might be hard until everyone gets used to the new routine. I still have days where I want to cry dropping Liam off so that feeling of guilt doesn't ever go away.

    I think the easiest thing is just learning to let go of the idea of getting it all done and focusing on what's a priority. In the mornings I wake up and get myself ready, and hopefully have breakfast on the table so I can wake Liam up, feed him and get us out the door. Of course most days he wakes up shortly after me, so he watches cartoons while I get ready every morning. Evenings we eat and if I have to cook I involve him and I try not to feel guilty if he needs cartoons again to distract him so I can get supper on the table. I try to prep as much as possible the night before so my time in the kitchen is minimal. I save the cleaning and laundry and groceries, etc for the weekend and just do a quick tidy after Liam is in bed. Then I've come to terms with the fact that I only have a few short hours in the evening to get blog work done, workout, shower (I shower at night to cut down the time it takes to get ready) and go to bed.

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  14. I have no helpful words of advice except that I'm thinking of you and will be rooting for you all next week and the weeks after, that the transition will go smoothly. You seem like a very organized person, so I'm confident it won't take you long to get a new routine down pat :) xoxo

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  15. mom - now grandmaJanuary 22, 2016 6:15 AM

    so wish you lived in Ontario - I would make your dinners for the first week... you will figure this out... make dinners on the weekend, do the things that are important first - Amelia. just be kind to yourselves - you have a great partner who will share the worries. Just let it go and take it a day at a time. You survived daycare and actually thrived.... you still loved your mom. It's hard to have someone else be us for awhile.... but Amelia will always be ready to hug you. Love your insights into life.

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  16. Aw friend, that's so tough. I'll be thinking of you Monday! On the days I am in the office, I get most of my work/cleaning done after Aiden goes to bed at night or on the weekends when my husband is home too. You will learn your "new normal" and you will make it work! You can do it Mama! XO

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  17. Good luck on your family's new chapter! Going back to work is not the end of the world (I repeat: going back to work is not the end of the world). It's inevitable for bunch of us mommas and there are some benefits: adult time, giving your child the opportunity to learn/explore somewhere new with new people, and making the extra money.
    A friend of mine told me that working moms spend the most quality time with their kids, which is biased to say the least but you definitely get the daily reminder of how precious your time with your child really is! You're going to do awesome. Just don't be hard on yourself in the next few weeks and I promise things will come into focus.

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  18. Hugs!!! ❤️ Returning to work after Audrey was probably the hardest thing ever! So many emotions- exactly what you are going through. You learn to prioritize. The crockpot because my best friend because I could prep dinner for the next night after A went to bed. We also would make a lot of meals that had leftovers so prep didn't take as much time the next meal. We eat a lot of roast chicken so we can use the leftover chicken in other meals. It's hard- no lying about that. You will learn to appreciate eating in peace, not having to clean the floor after every meal and your house will be slightly cleaner because you won't be messing it up all day long.
    Good luck next week!

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  19. It's hard BUT will get easier for sure and you will get a new routine. And before you know it you will be pregnant again....ha ha :) But seriously. I am here if you need anything!!

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  20. Hugs !!! I know how tough it is to return to work but you are doing a good job!!!
    I wish I could give you great tips but I think it is best to take 1 or 2 tasks to accomplish that day and be ok with that until you have more time to do more tasks.

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  21. Just getting around to reading this now! Ha ha! Returning to work is so hard! I am also a perfectionist but over time (LOTS OF TIME) you get into your groove and figure out what works and doesn't work for you. I find when we first get home the hardest! Baby wants attention, supper needs to be put on the table...there just isn't enough time and the night flies by because you just never stop. I try to meal prep as much as possible on the weekends. If I don't, it's a disaster. As for cleaning, well we decided to hire a house cleaner. She comes once a week (every Thursday) and spends 4 hours deep cleaning the house. It was really given me enough time to spend with my family rather than cleaning in my spare time. I have to do the laundry and basic tidying but that is easy compared to the deep cleaning that I want done.
    Just know that you are doing your best and sometimes if you have to eat cereal for supper one night, that's ok! xo

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